This past weekend, I felt under the weather and could hardly move let alone create blog posts. For those of you that don't know, I'm in my first year as a teacher and balance is something I've yet to master. Trying to find a balance between doing my job well and taking care of myself in every aspect is something easier said than done. There's always so much to do, but never enough time in a single day. And, after teaching, guiding, speaking, and everything else the day demands of me there's seldom left. In the aspect of energy, time, and will to do anything else. So, from time to time my body will take over and physically intervene causing me to slow down and rest.
Rest, is what I did all weekend. I binge watched, got some quality sleep, and did some light reading. While all of those things felt so good, by Sunday evening I felt guilty. I felt that in between my time resting, I should have managed to write something. But, why I felt that even in my need of rest I felt like I needed to be completing something is still baffling to me. Though deep down, I know that the feeling of guilt has less to do with me and more to do with the tradition of work being equated to accomplishment and value.
I don't like feeling as if I have to be constantly working on or toward something in order to deserve rest. Therefore, I'm changing the narrative in regards to my life. If I need to rest, I will do that. I'm anticipating that it won't be as simple as saying, but at the very least I'm trying.
Trying deserves more glory than we often give it. Trying is worth more than stagnancy. Even if we don't get things right the first, second, or even third time it is worth more than continuing what isn't working.